Author: Alex Thompson
Living with an Alcoholic: Tips for Life with Alcohol Use Disorder
Even if your loved one doesn’t become violent from AUD, they can still present security dangers to the household. They may no longer perform the roles they once did, and they can disrupt family dynamics. Such changes can be stressful for the entire family.
- Sharing a home with them adds a whole new layer of complexity.
- Your loved one’s addiction might also start taking a financial toll.
- If family members try to “help” by covering up for their drinking and making excuses for them, they are playing right into their loved one’s denial game.
- Remain at a close distance from your loved oneIn the case you’ve exhausted all your means of persuasion, you have to distance yourself from the addict.
If you’ve been covering up for your loved one and not talking about their addiction openly for a long time, it may seem daunting to reach out for help. However, it’s important to make sure you’re getting the support you need as well. Lean on the people around you, and, if you need to, reach out to a mental health professional to speak about your stress and what you’re going through. Alateen is similar to Al-Anon but it’s for children of alcoholics. It gives kids an opportunity to spend time with their peers and discuss their alcoholic parent with people their own age who understand and can relate to the situation.
Best Practices for Living with an Alcoholic
The media keeps reminding us how debilitating alcoholism can be. The definition of alcoholism presumes that alcoholics have the potential not to only ruin the life for themselves, they usually drain the people around them along the way. Are you looking for ways to help an alcoholic family member, friend, or colleague? Are you tired of seeing them burning bridges with their friends, spiraling down deeper into their addiction? Read on for 20 ways that will teach you how to help someone with a drinking problem.
After all, you obviously have a relationship with that person which can stand in the way of how objective and firm you are. As a result, you may not be able to motivate your alcoholic friend or family member into seeking professional help. If things go down this road, don’t be afraid to involve a professional alcohol intervention specialist. Remain calmConfronting an alcoholic, especially if it’s your loved one we’re talking about, can be extremely stressful and emotional. Moreover, they may try to blame you for his or her own addiction, which can be very upsetting. Even if he or she pushes all your buttons, stay calm and understand what they’re going through.
They might be friendly one moment, only to become angry and violent the next. According to the Foundations Recovery Network, up to two-thirds of cases of alcohol-related violence occur in close interpersonal relationships. Such instances can put you and your household at risk. A person who faces an alcohol use disorder will most likely deny there is anything wrong with them. He or she may say the habit only helps them to take the edge off, even though you know they’ve been drinking in excess.
If a parent has AUD, a child may experience excessive stress because they don’t know what mood their parent will be in from day to day. Children may no longer be able to rely on the adult with AUD, which can place undue pressures on them. They might also be at risk for other forms of physical and emotional violence. Having someone intoxicated on a consistent basis can be stressful and cause anxiety over what’s going to happen next. You might feel guilty about the situation, eventually leading to depression.
If you’re the partner of someone with AUD, you might feel isolated — or tempted to isolate out of embarrassment or shame. Experiencing domestic violence, emotional abuse, or other hurtful actions like infidelity can further push partners to withdraw from family and friends. There are a variety of emotions and behaviors that can come up if you live with someone misusing alcohol. The effects and feelings may depend on the type of relationship you have with the person with AUD.
You may want to bring up the fact addiction isn’t any different to other disorders, like diabetes, or cancer, for example. This way, you will not find yourself without anything to say and have more chances of persuading your loved one to undergo treatment. Books on recovery from alcoholism can also help one find the right words to reach the alcohol user. Instead, seek emotional support from those around youYou’ve taken up the challenge to help a loved one become sober.
Recognize the signs of alcoholism and specifically when your partner has been drinking, especially if there are abuse issues
Be rationally compassionate and understandingBeing compassionate within reasons can help you connect with the alcoholic better. This doesn’t mean you should cover up for them or help them fuel their addiction. Ask them about the stressors that are forcing him or her to seek refuge in frequent drinking. Compassion will open up new doors for you but remember not to take a higher moral ground or make the person feel like a loser.
More importantly, the interventionist will explain the consequences of carrying on drinking, which could inspire the alcoholic to agree and embrace change. This is perhaps, the trickiest part in trying to help an alcoholic who doesn’t want help. One inconsiderate comment and the person can retreat back to their world of darkness. Be careful not to close the channel of communication forever and think before you speak. It’s important to remember to prioritize taking care of yourself. Making sure you‘re healthy and safe can make you a better support system for your loved one with AUD, however you chose to be there for them.
Living with Someone Who Has Alcohol Use Disorder
Remember, it’s not your responsibility to “cure” their AUD. You just happen to love someone who is probably going to need professional treatment to get healthy again. You may still want to help your loved one when they are in the middle of a crisis. However, a crisis is usually the time when you should do nothing. When someone reaches a crisis point, sometimes that’s when they finally admit they have a problem and begin to reach out for help.
Tips for living with someone who has an alcohol addiction
What might seem like a reasonable expectation in some circumstances might be totally unreasonable when it comes to someone with an addiction. When your loved one swears to you and to themselves that they will never touch another drop of alcohol, you might believe them. Keep in mind that someone with alcohol dependence usually goes through a few stages before they are ready to make a change. Until they begin to contemplate quitting, any actions you take to “help” them quit will often be met with resistance.
When she’s not researching or writing, Cherney enjoys getting outdoors as much as possible. When living with someone who has AUD, it’s important to understand that you didn’t cause the addiction. Understand that recovery is a journey and not necessarily a one-time goal. Talk therapy (or play therapy for younger children) can also help you all work through the challenges AUD can present to a household. Enabling occurs when someone else covers up or makes excuses for the person who has a SUD. As a result, the person with a SUD doesn’t deal with the consequences of their actions.
Staying calm might even prompt the person in front of you to cool off and listen to what you have to say. Point out how little time you’re spending together recently. Often alcoholics will be more inclined to make a change if they realize the effect on those who care about them. Let them know their actions are hurting your relationshipBe gentle and straightforward. When thinking about the ways to help an alcoholic, leave the accusatory ‘you’ tone out of the conversation. Explain the ways in which his or her addiction has affected you and others involved.